Displaced “FO”: Replacing Fear with Reverence
In today’s culture, especially among youth and young adults, acronyms like FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), FOBO (Fear of Better Options), FOMU (Fear of Messing Up), and FOPO (Fear of People’s Opinions) have become common emotional undercurrents. These fears often drive decisions, shape identities, and distort perceptions of worth and purpose. But what if these fears are not just youthful struggles? What if they reflect something deeper—something we, as adults, as parents, also wrestle with, but more subtly?
The Mirror of Youth Culture
In the book Beyond Opinion, Alison Thomas, in her chapter titled “Challenges from Youth,” offers this piercing observation:
“Teens serve as an accurate barometer of the condition of adults; They reflect back to us the very best and worst conditions of our adult culture. Most problems and issues that we typically label as teenage problems are in fact inextricably linked to problems of the adult world. We adults are just more sophisticated than young people in how we mask our problems.” [1]
This insight should invite us to pause and reflect: Are the fears we see in our children and students simply echoes of our own anxieties? Do we, too, live under the tyranny of “FO” fears, just dressed in more socially acceptable clothing?
Over the years of ministering to and counseling students and families, as well as being a parent myself, I have found this to be truer than most of us would like to admit. But that’s the first step towards transformation and growth – honest admission (1 John 1:8-9). Let’s explore these fears and how we might be transformed by a deeper, more life-giving fear—the Fear of the Lord.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
FOMO whispers, “You’re not enough unless you’re everywhere, doing everything.” It breeds comparison, envy, and a restless striving to keep up. For students, it might sound like:
“If I don’t get that particular class finished by this year, I don’t have any hope of making it to….”
“I need to be doing more if I’m ever going to be seen as having any value.”
For adults, it’s often subtler:
“If I don’t take that promotion now, I won’t be a success.”
“If I/we don’t keep up with the current trends, I/we will be irrelevant.”
“I have to miss all those events if my family is going to be cared for well.”
But Scripture offers a different narrative. Jesus says in Luke 12:7, “Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” And in Jeremiah 29:11, God reminds us, “I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you.”
The far-gazing fear of FOMO quite often keeps looking over and beyond the opportunities with and for others right in front of us. Faithfulness, not frantic striving, is the measure of success in God’s economy.
The Fear of the Lord reorients our hearts. It teaches us that our value is not in what we do or what we miss, but in Who we belong to and His providential care. In Matthew 25:21, Jesus affirms, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.”
Fear of Messing Up (FOMU)
FOMU paralyzes us with the dread of failure. It’s the paralysis of Perfectionism. It says, “If I make a mistake, I’ll ruin everything.” Students may internalize this as:
“If I fail this test, my future is over.”
“If I don’t do this perfectly, I’ll be a disappointment and an embarrassment.”
“Get it right the first time or don’t do it at all.”
If I mess up here, I will lose favor with them...”
Adults feel it too:
“If I make the wrong decision, I’ll let everyone down.”
“I can’t afford to be vulnerable lest my imperfections are seen.”
“I don’t know what to say, so I’ll avoid them altogether.”
But the Gospel speaks a better word. Romans 8:28 assures us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” Philippians 1:6 gives us this assurance, “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
The Fear of the Lord doesn’t produce anxiety—it produces awe. It’s the reverent recognition that God is sovereign, good, and trustworthy. In fearing the Lord, we find freedom from fearing failure. We learn to trust in His redemptive power, even when we fall short. Knowing that God is always graciously working through our circumstances for our good and His glory, allows us to learn from our mistakes and fail forward. As parents, we have opportunity to model what trusting in God’s steadfast love and grace can look like, as we ourselves are being grown as fellow children of God.
Deuteronomy 31:8 declares, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Fear of Better Options (FOBO)
A more recent “FO” is FOBO, which breeds indecision. It’s the fear that there’s always something better out there and choosing “wrong” will lead to regret.
For students, it might look like:
“What if I choose the wrong college?”
“What if I commit to something and miss out on something better?”
Adults face this too:
“Should I take this job or wait for a better one?”
“Is this the right church, the right school, the right investment?”
The Fear of the Lord brings clarity. It reminds us that wisdom begins not with perfect information, but with reverence for God. Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”
When we fear the Lord, we trust that He is guiding our steps. We don’t have to be paralyzed by the possibility of better options because we believe in a God who leads us in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Fear of Other People’s Opinions (FOPO)
FOPO is the fear that others’ judgments define our worth. It’s the pressure to perform, conform, and please. Students feel it acutely:
“If I don’t wear those brands, I’ll be judged.”
“If I don’t go along with my friends, I’ll be left out.”
“I wonder how many people have responded to my last post?”
Adults are not immune:
“What will they think if I say no?”
“I need to maintain my/our image.”
“It’s important for me to post my/our achievements on social media.”
The Fear of the Lord liberates us from the fear of man. It places our identity in Christ, not in the shifting opinions of others. Proverbs 29:25 warns, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.”
Scripture calls us to fix our eyes elsewhere – on Christ. Hebrews 12:1–2 urges us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”
The Fear That Heals: Fear of the Lord
Unlike the “FO” fears that can enslave, the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, knowledge, and freedom. It’s not a fear that drives us away from God, but one that draws us near in reverence, humility, and trust. As we take our fears to the Lord and allow Him to renew our minds and hearts through the Gospel, He is good and faithful to draw us back to Himself for hope, peace, and His securing love.
As parents, we have the privilege of discipling our children in honest and confident trust in the one who is truly sovereign, perfect in goodness, and love. Proverbs 14:26 reminds us as parents, “In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.” When we take our fears to the King of kings and Lord of lords, having our confidence renewed in His unflinching love and care, our children will experience the blessings of being raised in the refuge only found in Christ.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!” - Psalms 111:10
[1] Ravi Zacharias, Beyond Opinion: Living the Faith That We Defend (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007), 50.
