Very few of us would flat-out ignore warning lights in our cars. I can personally recall many times that I’ve had to search out my glove compartment and find my car’s manual to find the meaning of the flashing codes on my dashboard. Some issues were quick fixes, and others not so much. We would be foolish to ignore such flashing signals, because oftentimes a small, inexpensive and quick fix could potentially cause a much more expensive repair if it isn’t handled in a timely manner.
It’s the same with our emotions. Frequent small fits of anger, for example, may seem innocent, but if we don’t take the time to stop and reflect on such emotions, they have the potential to cause much harm in our lives.
We all experience negative emotions from time to time. They can be unsettling at best and frightening at worst. Sometimes their intensity can become so bad that we wonder “Where are these emotions coming from?” and “How do I get them under control?” “Do my negative emotions mean that something is really wrong with me?” It’s usually the intensity of these negative emotions that compels people to seek out counseling.
A big part of the counseling process is helping others untangle the complexity of their emotions- to find clarity in their meaning and to forge a path forward. The most frequent negative emotions cited in our counseling center’s intake forms are anxiety, anger, sadness, and bitterness. These emotions can be so overwhelming at times that people often feel they can no longer cope with them. There is a lot to be said about the reason individuals may view their negative emotions the way they do, but the purpose of this post is to examine a biblical view of such emotions.
Instead of ignoring them, denying them, minimizing them, or shaming ourselves for having negative emotions, let’s see what scripture might say.
1) Emotions are part of our humanity.
We were created as spiritual, physical, relational and emotional beings. The book of Psalms demonstrates the wide gamut of emotions that we experience. We can see the depths of despair and hopelessness in Psalm 88 as the psalmist exclaims, “Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me? (vs. 14) and “You have taken from me friend and neighbor- darkness is my closest friend.” (vs. 18) In Psalm 71, we see the psalmist’s expression of great hope- “As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” Throughout the book of Psalms, we see fear, grief, betrayal, envy, and anger. We also see hope, joy, and great delight. The Psalms help us acknowledge that our emotions are a part of our existence.
2) Jesus, who had perfect faith, experienced negative emotions.
When Jesus went with His disciples to Gethsemane, “he began to be sorrowful and troubled.” (Matthew 26: 37) He said to Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” (vs. 38) These verses help us to see that our emotions are a part of our humanity, and that our negative emotions are not always indicative of a lack of faith.
3) God wants us to talk to Him about all of our emotions.
Jesus says, “Come to me those who are weary and burdened”. (Matthew 11:28) In Psalm 62:8, we are encouraged to “pour out our hearts to God, for He is our refuge.” Many people fear that they cannot draw close to God when they are experiencing intense negative emotions, as though they are being irreverent somehow. But what we see from scripture is that God desires for us to come to him with all of ourselves. He really wants us to know him personally and experience His compassion for us when we are suffering emotionally.
Just as we would not expect a small suffering child to “pull themselves together” and articulate their pain or sorrow to us in a clear and respectful manner, God also does not expect that from us. We can and should pour out our hearts to Him- especially when we are filled with negative emotions.
4) We may experience negative emotions as we obey God.
Oftentimes there is an incongruence between our emotions and what we believe God is calling us to do. For example, God may call us to do something that feels very scary. I cannot imagine how the men chosen to explore the land of Canaan felt when they saw the size of the inhabitants who were living there. God had told His people, “Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites.” (Numbers 13:2) They knew that God was sending them. They also knew that God was giving them the land. It wasn’t until the spies saw the giants that their emotions became more powerful than what God had told them. Some of the spies came back and reported, “The people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.” (Numbers 13:28) Joshua and Caleb pleaded with the Israelites to trust what God had told them. (Numbers 14: 9) Ultimately, their fear reigned.
When we struggle to discern God’s call for us in light of our emotions, it is most helpful in these seasons of our lives to be in community with other believers. There is safety in the counsel of many (Proverbs 11:14). Other believers may help provide clarity and discernment regarding our walk with the Lord, especially when we are experiencing negative emotions.
5) Our negative emotions are reminders that things are not as they should be.
We were created good. (Genesis 1:31) Adam and Eve lived and walked in peace with God. They had a blessed relationship with Him, with each other, and with all of creation. Genesis 2:25 tells us that “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” It wasn’t until they ate from the tree of good and evil that they felt their separation from God. In “Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin”, Cornelius Plantinga states, “God hates sin not just because it violates his law but, more substantively, because it violates shalom, because it breaks the peace, because it interferes with the way things are supposed to be.” Oftentimes, our negative emotions are simply reminders to us that the world is not as it should be. Sin has marred the world, and our souls often grieve the brokenness.
6) God moves towards us when we experience negative emotions.
I think many people would acknowledge that when they outwardly express negative emotions of sadness, grief, anger, or anxiety that other people may pull away from them. What we see most often throughout scripture, however, is that God draws near to those suffering from emotional pain. Psalm 34:18 tells us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”. We see Him draw near to Hagar when she desperately cried out to Him in the wilderness. His compassion for her was so evident that she called Him “The God who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13) We see Jesus, as he approached the grieving widow of Nain who had just lost her only son to death, that “when He saw her, His heart went out to her and He said, ‘Don’t cry’.” (Luke 7:13) God saw Hagar. He saw the widow. He also sees you. Whether or not you feel His presence in your pain, He is with you. Isaiah 53:4 tells us “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering”. As our great high priest, Jesus knows and understands our pain and is always interceding for us- even if we don’t feel it.
Practically speaking, how can we apply these truths to our day-to-day lives? First, be kind to yourself. Whenever you experience negative emotions, rather than dismissing them, or thinking “I shouldn’t feel this way”, be curious about them. See them as warning lights that something is wrong. And then take them to the Lord. Pray along with the psalmist, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)
From personal experience, I can recall countless times that the Lord has comforted me with His grace and compassion, whether my emotional pain was brought on by the sins of others, or it was brought on by my own sin. God is good. He wants us to be honest with Him about our pain. He desires to give us clarity about our negative emotions. Because He alone truly knows our hearts, we need to go to Him first when we see the warning lights.
God wants us to move forward and flourish. His ultimate desire for us is holiness. And this starts with honesty. Our negative emotions are warning signs that something is wrong. Learn to notice them and appreciate them. The more you get into the habit of being honest with God about your negative emotions, the more you will experience His love and compassion for you, and your trust in Him will grow. “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge”. (Psalm 62:8)
For additional reading on this topic, check out “I Shouldn’t Feel This Way” by Alison Cook and “Untangling Emotions” by Alasdair Groves and Winston T. Smith.
